Taking on additional partners while in a committed relationship has long been taboo for many people. Though it’s not still a mainstream now, there’s a big interest in being open.
Our today’s heroine has experienced another side of open marriage, and now she regrets making this choice. She wrote to us a letter to share her story, and then she asked us to publish it in order to get some opinions and advice from our readers. Here’s her complicated story with a very unexpected ending.
Eva has always been satisfied with her traditional marriage.
For illustrative purpose only.
Hi. I’ve faced a very bizarre situation in my seemingly solid and happy marriage. My husband Frank and I have been happily married for over 10 years. I’ve always believed that we had this harmony, trust and commitment that any happy family does.
I’ve never even thought of having any sort of side relationships that would harm my marriage and would be seen as infidelity. Frank has always been very family-oriented, he has never given me a tiny reason for suspecting that his feelings for me are not true or that he’d prefer to have another woman in his life.
Eva’s husband has suddenly become interested in an open relationship.
After the birth of our second child, I started putting on weight due to some hormonal disorder. Frank saw that I was insecure about my changing appearance and was doing his best to reassure me that I was looking gorgeous with my curves.
I finally came to terms with having gained some extra pounds, when Frank dropped a bombshell one evening, hinting that he’d prefer to have some more diversity in his life. He said that he loved me with all his heart, but he was feeling the necessity to have some ‘additional partner’, who’d have a different appearance from mine.
This was a hint that my beloved husband would love to try some side relationship, preferably with a skinny woman, and this is why he considered establishing an open relationship in our family.
Initially, for me this was a huge shock, because I have never thought of something like this before and I didn’t need to have other partners in my life except for my husband. Moreover, his hint that he’d like to try a relationship with a skinny woman sounded like a mockery and I felt it was quite a toxic statement, but I decided to let it go.
Frank and Eva began to live in an open marriage, which brought a huge scandal to the family.
For illustrative purpose only.
One day, Frank decided not to beat about the bush anymore and said that we need to try an open marriage. I had so many doubts about this idea, but after a very honest conversation, I finally gave up and agreed reluctantly.
Frank immediately started dating other women, while I wasn’t actually in search of any partners for myself. I decided to be as indifferent about the situation as I could and make myself busy with other things and hobbies.
One day, Frank shocked me to the core, because he brought one of his side partners to our house, introduced her to me as Alyson, and announced that this woman will live with us for 3–4 months, because she had some issues with her landlord and needed a place to stay in until she would find a decent apartment that would satisfy all her needs.
To say that I was dumbfounded is to say nothing. At that very moment, I already knew that I would divorce my husband, because he went too far in his willingness to be free from any commitments. But I decided not to make a scandal, and plotted a revenge instead.
Eva taught her husband a lesson he will probably never forget.
As soon as Alyson, the new partner of my husband, made herself at home, this bold woman started to behave like she was the wife, and I was just a random person. I was doing all housework, and she was just relaxing and enjoying the company of my husband.
One day, I stopped doing all things around the house. I washed only my and our kid’s dishes, cleaned only after myself and the kid, and cooked only for myself and the kid. Frank didn’t like this behavior, he noticed that I stopped even packing his lunches for him before he went to work.
I completely ditched all my domestic responsibilities as a wife and started acting like I was a guest in the house. One day, Frank said that we needed to talk, and I was waiting for him to initiate the conversation, because I had something to say. I insisted that we must talk in the presence of Alyson, since she was a part of our family now, Frank was surprised about this suggestion, but he agreed.
Then, we sat down for a talk, three of us, and Frank awkwardly mentioned that he was puzzled and frustrated about my behavior. He said that having an open marriage was our mutual decision, and he thought I liked the idea. He complained that I was acting like a stranger towards him, and this made him depressed and annoyed. I listened carefully to all his complaints, and then it was my turn to speak.
I spoke with a calm voice that I rehearsed so many times while being prepared for this nasty conversation. I said, ’My dear husband, I must say that I am also disappointed about having this open marriage. You thought that I liked the idea, but I hated it with all my heart from the very beginning. The only reason I agreed to it was your comfort, which i now deeply regret. Now that you totally ignored my needs and my feelings, I’m not your wife anymore, because you have another wife now, who lives in your house and must do all chores for you.
She must share household routines with you, take care of you and cook your lunches. She is a part of your family now, not mine, because I never wanted such a family. I want to ask Alyson now if she’s happy knowing that she’ll be doing your laundry now, cleaning your bedroom and that she’ll be a person who’ll solve all your daily problems together with you.
Alyson and Frank looked very disturbed because of what I said. None of them expected this. Alyson stood up and left the room with a dramatic expression on her face. Frank started apologizing. But I didn’t care anymore.
I took my things and moved out, and now I am going to divorce. Do you think I’m on a right way, or should I give my husband another chance?
